imran*

I’m always flattered when someone mistakes me for a terrorist – from people shooting funny looks at me wearing my keffiyah in Winter, to regular interviews with US Customs, Homeland Security and people in airport gasping when they hear Urdu speakers dropping ‘terrorist’ into a conversation with my parents; I can now add NCP cap park attendants to that illustrious gallery of boneheads.

Last Thursday, after a lunchtime Carbon meeting with Mark and Ian, I tried to get a panoramic photo of the Moon and setting Sun from where I’d parked – a lovely, crisp Autumn view of the developing Leeds skyline. An NCP guy came across and confronted me – ‘can i help you Sir’ – whilst keeping a safe distance. He must’ve assumed my Timbuk2 was (bin?)laden with Semtex…actually, my VAIO’s battery probably was explosive!

Needless to say I killed him and posted a lighthearted execution video on YouTube…he might report me for my suspicious aerial photography fetish.

In the last 60 years, Brits held their nerve against invading Germans and the threat of nuclear annihilation. All it takes to spook us now is a Paki-tographer. To paraphrase a quote from Niall Ferguson’s article Empire Falls – when men stop believing, they don’t believe in nothing..they believe in anything.

Get a grip.